


the aqours group chat is not for shipping discussion

by wingsaloof



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Characters Are in Fandom, Chatlogs, Crack, F/F, Gen, Shipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-15 22:25:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9260528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingsaloof/pseuds/wingsaloof
Summary: It's 2 AM and Mari is too deep in her... research about µ's.





	

**Author's Note:**

> me: i should write more of the mattete ai no uta drabbles  
> also me: i wonder if riko has nozoeli doujins
> 
> i read too many chatfics

**Aqours! Sunshine!!** **☀️**

 

_**[20XX/08/14 - 2:08 AM]** _

 

 

**(shiny!) mari** : hey

**(shiny!) mari** : i've been reading up on school idols just for fun and i found some u's forum

**(shiny!) mari:** and i wanted to ask something

**(shiny!) mari** : who bottoms, nico or maki?

**Fallen Angel Yohane** : what the fuck

**Kanan!** : yoshiko-chan, language

**Kanan!** : but yeah what the heck mari

**Fallen Angel Yohane** : i'm not a child. i'm a fallen angel. a heavenly being. leave me alone.

**Fallen Angel Yohane:** also that's not my name!!!! it's on my username!!!! right here!! is it so hard to get it?????

**Kurosawa Ruby** <3: Don't be mean!! Kanan-san is right, swearing is bad!

**Kurosawa Ruby** <3: Also I think that if they slept on a bunk bed, Maki-chan wouldn't let Nico-nii sleep on the top bed, so...! Nico-nii is on the bottom one!

**Kanan!** : never change, ruby. please.

**Sakurauchi Riko** : Do any of you ever sleep?

**takamikan chika** : don't pretend you're different from us

**takamikan chika** : i can hear you playing piano at fuck o'clock

**Kanan!** : _chika_

**takamikan chika** _: sorry_

**Kunikida Hanamaru:** I wake up with the notifications

**Kunikida Hanamaru** : *woke

**Kunikida Hanamaru** : Is everyone okay?

**(shiny!) mari** : maru u don't know much about u's right

**Kunikida Hanamaru:** Not much, sorry! I only know a little about Rin-san and Hanayo-san because of Ruby...

**(shiny!) mari:** ur dismissed thanks

**(shiny!) mari** : rinpana are too vanilla for this, they probably don't even fuck

**Kanan!** : mari how many times i'll need to restrain you

**Kanan!** : _there are children in this chatroom_

**(shiny!) mari** : they're 15

**You(soro!)** : i'll have to second yohane on that what the fuck

**You(soro!)** : are you really starting a discussion on µ's ships' sex life

**Fallen Angel Yohane** : can't you be good little demons and shut the hell up

**Fallen Angel Yohane** : i'm trying to get some stuff done here

**Fallen Angel Yohane** : *heck sorry

**takamikan chika** : just???? mute the chat?????

**Sakurauchi Riko:** it's not as easy as it sounds

**(shiny!) mari** : c'mon you two you should be the ones able to answer me

**(shiny!) mari** : chika-chi has all the u's stuff and riko-chan has the dirty stuff

**Sakurauchi Riko:** LISTAEN UP THE'R E NIT DURTTY

**You(soro!)** : chill

**takamikan chika** _:_ honestly? if we're going to discuss this

**takamikan chika** : probably nico-chan

**takamikan chika** : i mean have you ever looked at her

**(shiny!) mari** : there it is!!!!

**(shiny!) mari** : i bet on maki tho

**(shiny!) mari** : she has all the princess vibe going on

**You(soro!)** : i don't even recall who's who

**Kurosawa Ruby** <3: Nico-nii is the one with pigtails and Maki-chan is the redhead one!!

**You(soro!)** : thanks

**(shiny!) mari** : riko-chan i want your opinion as Local Yuri Enthusiast™

**Sakurauchi Riko** : please stop

**takamikan chik** _ **a**_ : three mermaids

**Sakurauchi Riko** : WHY

**takamikan chika** : i thought we're picking on you

**Kanan!** : please stop putting pressure on riko-chan

**(shiny!) mari** : what's even your u's otp riko-chan

**(shiny!) mari** : you must have one

**(shiny!) mari** : ah, i already know who i should ask

**(shiny!) mari** : @dia!!!!

**(shiny!) mari** : @dia @dia @dia @dia @dia

**Kurosawa Dia** : What is it, Mari-san.

**Kurosawa Dia** : Ruby, go back to sleep. It's past your bed time.

**Kurosawa Dia:** To some of you, please stop cursing. It's unsightly.

**Kurosawa Dia:** Also, it’s _µ's_.

**Fallen Angel Yohane:** _> implying Ruby has woke up in the middle of the night and hasn't been up all this time_

**Kurosawa Dia** : I don't quite understand what do you mean, Yoshiko-san.

**(shiny!) mari** : hey dia!!!! answer me something really quick

**(shiny!) mari** : who bottoms in nicomaki

**Kurosawa Dia** : ... I can't believe you really spammed my phone only for this.

**Kanan!** : oh my god here it comes

**takamikan chika** : rip mari-san

**You(soro!)** : rip mari-san

**(shiny!) mari** : c'mon i have found that nozoeli fanfic on your search history on 1st year

**Kurosawa Dia** : I don't recall such events.

**(shiny!) mari** : lemme see if i can find it

**Kunikida Hanamaru** : I couldn't fall asleep again...

**Fallen Angel Yohane** : give up zuramaru

**Fallen Angel Yohane** : i feel somethign interesting is coming soon

**You(soro!)** : it's weird to think that people do write stories about the µ's girls dating each other

**takamikan chika** : tbh there are some pretty good ones

**Kurosawa Ruby <3**: There are lots of cute ones!!

**Kurosawa Ruby** <3: Especially the ones with Rin-chan, Kayo-chin and Nico-nii going on adventures.

**Kurosawa Ruby** <3: Although my favorite is the one where Maki-chan accidentally turns everyone into babies!

**You(soro!)** : how does the last one even works

**Fallen Angel Yohane** : i was about to ask the same

**Kanan!** : to each their own, i guess

**Kurosawa Dia** : I didn't knew you engaged in such activities, Ruby.

**Kunikida Hanamaru** : Ah, she recommended a couple of them to me!

**takamikan chika** : btw did you guys knew i once found µ's comics at riko-chan's house!!

**Sakurauchi Riko** : So that's how Mari knew.

**takamikan chika** : teehee! ;p

**Fallen Angel Yohane** : that emoji looks awfully flirty if put in another light

**You(soro!)** : tru

**Kanan!** : i have to agree

**Kurosawa Dia** : Please refrain from flirting on the group chat.

**Sakurauchi Riko** : IT'S NOT LIKE THIS FFFFFFF

**takamikan chika** : :p

**Sakurauchi Riko** : not you too please

**Kanan!** : anyway where's mari

**Fallen Angel Yohane** : probably still looking for the fic

 

_**[20XX/08/14 - 2:43 AM]**_  

 

**Kunikida Hanamaru** : So, should I try to go buck to sleep?

**Kunikida Hanamaru** : *back

**You(soro!)** : yeah

**You(soro!)** : drink some warm milk or smth

**You(soro!)** : tbh it's warm enough as it is drink cold milk

**Kanan!** : yes!! drink something sweet! turn the aircon or the ceiling fan on! if you want me to, i can link you some relaxing/soothing videos!

**Fallen Angel Yohane** : such a good little demon. would make a wonderful big sis

**Fallen Angel Yohane** : or mom

**You(soro!)** : she does

**takamikan chika** : she really does

**Sakurauchi Riko** : Yes, I have the same feeling.

**Kurosawa Ruby** <3: As good as onee-san!

**Kanan!** : i'm glad to hear this coming from all of you! :) thanks girls

**Kunikida Hanamaru** : Thank you! I'll try to make some chocolate milk...

**You(soro!)** : good luck :D

_**[20XX/08/14 - 3:04 AM]** _

 

**takamikan chika** : does ohara mari is dead

**Sakurauchi Riko** : *Is Ohara Mari dead?

**takamikan chika** : _does ohara mari is dead_

**You(soro!)** : give up

**Kanan!** : give up

_**[20XX/08/14 - 3:06 AM]** _

 

**(shiny!) mari:** found it!!!!

**(shiny!) mari** : titled "the honeymoon of the toujou-ayase couple", hereby i present the stuff our dear Dia read at the age of 15

 

**[Kanan!** **has removed Kurosawa Ruby <3** **from the group.]**

**[Kanan!** **has removed Kunikida Hanamaru from the group.]**

 

**takamikan chika:** why

**Kanan!** : they're too pure for this world. they don't deserve what i sense that is about to come. i'll add them back later

**You(soro!)** : i love how she hasn't removed yohane although she's also a first year

**(shiny!) mari:** "Take me, Nozomi." Eli whispered sensually, making every part of her now wife's body shudder.  
"Oh, Elicchi..." Nozomi moaned with desire, closing the distance between them. "I love you, Elicchi..."  
"I love you too, Nozomi..." She replied between kisses. Although they had been together like this dozen of times before, tonight was different... As if Eli could feel something different coming from her beloved one, whose eyes gleamed with lust.  
"I want to take Elicchi... To kiss Elicchi all over... Feel Elicchi all over... I want to have Elicchi... I want Elicchi..."  
"I want you too, Nozomi..." Eli moaned, feeling a familiar wetness from her lower areas.

**(shiny!) mari:** Cut for length.

**Fallen Angel Yohane** : HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THIS

**You(soro!)** : oh my god

**takamikan chika:** my god what is this

**Sakurauchi Riko** : This is... something.

**(shiny!) mari** : Dia please explain yourself

**Kanan!** : it really was a good idea to remove them both. oh my god.

**You(soro!)** : i love how they keep on repeating each other's name. romantic.

**[Kurosawa Dia has left the group.]**

 

**Fallen Angel Yohane:** ohhhhhhh

**takamikan chika:** same tbh

**[Kanan! has added Kurosawa Dia to the group.]**

 

**takamikan chika:** i mean nozomi doesn't even tops eli

**takamikan chika:** how is eli a bottom

**Sakurauchi Riko** : STOP

**Kurosawa Dia:** THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.

**(shiny!) mari:** then what is it, dia

**Kurosawa Dia:** IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

**Kurosawa Dia:** AN ACCIDENT.

**(shiny!) mari:** **how**

**Kurosawa Dia:** Wait, Chika-san.

**Kurosawa Dia:** Of course Nozomi-san is on top.

**(shiny!) mari:** OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

**Fallen Angel Yohane:** HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Kanan!:** oh dear

**You(soro!)** : i'm going to die

**Sakurauchi Riko** : Dia-san...

**Kurosawa Dia:**... I don't have any more diginity to spare, do I.

**Kurosawa Dia:** If it's like this, I should at least defend my views.

**Kurosawa Dia:** That being said!

**Kurosawa Dia:** Eli-san is like a prince! Nozomi-san is her princess!

**(shiny!) mari:** ugh that's heteronormative

**Kurosawa Dia:** And to answer your previous question, Maki-san is the bottom. Her personality gives it away.

**(shiny!) mari:** told ya chika-chi!!!!

**Sakurauchi Riko** : Isn't Maki-san the tsundere one

**takamikan chika:** ye

**Sakurauchi Riko** : She bottoms.

**takamikan chika:** what the fuck

**You(soro!)** ⚓: same. wtf

**Fallen Angel Yohane:** THAT'S MY LILY

**Sakurauchi Riko** : Listen, if not even Dia-san is being reasonable anymore, I don't know what to do,

**Sakurauchi Riko** : I try to be as reasonable as possible but I need someone above me,

**(shiny!) mari:** so riko-chan is also a bottom

**Sakurauchi Riko** : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHUT YOUREA ACE AMRI SANF

**Kanan!** : please stop picking on her........

**(shiny!) mari:** k sorry

**(shiny!) mari:** i think it's already safe to add back ruby and hanamaru

 

**[Kanan! has added Kurosawa Ruby <3 to the group.]**

**[Kanan! has added Kunikida Hanamaru to the group.]**

 

**Kanan!:** sorry girls things got heavy

**Kurosawa Ruby <3: **No problem!!

**Kurosawa Ruby <3: **I think Hanamaru-chan has already gone to sleep... I was almost doing the same until I heard onee-san's screams and got worried

**takamikan chika:** what about honoka ships!!! who do you ship!!!

**Kanan!:** okay maybe it was a bad idea to add them back

**Kurosawa Ruby <3:** HonoKoto!!! They're like two princess together!!! They're the cutest!!!!!

**Kurosawa Dia:** Ruby???

**Kurosawa Dia:** Ruby, I believe that you aren't in your perfect senses.

**(shiny!) mari:** what's wrong with the girl reading fanfictions?? it's not like she's commiting a crime

**Kanan!:** dia we already talked about that. let ruby have her own life and her own hobbies

**Kurosawa Dia:** How can you even consider this couple when KotoUmi already exists?

**You(soro!)** : wat

**Fallen Angel Yohane:** eh

**takamikan chika:** what

**Sakurauchi Riko** : That's what I was talking about.

**(shiny!) mari:** haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

**Kurosawa Dia** : The dynamics are much better!

**Kurosawa Ruby <3:** What dynamics, onee-san?? They are always with Honoka-chan, with no space left to themselves! In the other hand, Kotori-chan is always helping and supporting Honoka-chan! That's true love, devoting yourself to someone!

**Kurosawa Dia** : If we're taking that path, then HonoUmi is the same. Even if Umi-san and Kotori-san are always supporting Honoka-san, doesn't means that they can't have their own relationship!

**Kurosawa Ruby <3:** It's cruel to leave Honoka-chan alone!

**Kurosawa Dia** : You're leaving Umi-san out though.

**Kurosawa Ruby <3**: She can be with Nozomi-san and Eli-san!

**Kurosawa Dia** : Ruby... My own little sister... Is suggesting an UmiEli interaction… Before my own eyes.

**Kurosawa Dia:** I'm disgusted.

**You(soro!)** : chill, you two

**takamikan chika:** TsubaHono tho

**Kurosawa Dia** : Who.

**takamikan chika:** Kira Tsubasa. From A-RISE. She seemed pretty close to Honoka-san in the interviews I watched.

**(shiny!) mari:** y'all are missing the point here: honokotoumi is The Shit

**(shiny!) mari:** anyway from this conversation i can tell that dia has shit taste when it comes to shipping

**Kurosawa Dia** : I have what.

**Kanan!:** since when is mari so invested in µ's content

**(shiny!) mari:** i'm drawn to anything lesbian and had too many free time in usa

**Kanan!:** i see

**Fallen Angel Yohane:** i'm lowkey interested

**(shiny!) mari:** i can recommend you some good stuff!!

**Kurosawa Dia** : Mari-san, I may have "s*** taste" when it comes to shipping, but you have it worse when it comes to behaviour choices.

**You(soro!)** : SAVAGE

**Sakurauchi Riko** : Oh my God...

**takamikan chika:** I ALMOST WOKE UP THE HOUSE FALLING FROM MY BED WTF

**Fallen Angel Yohane:** i'm internally screaming but more amused with the fact that she censored 'shit'

**Kanan!:** oh dear.................

**Kanan!:** why must you two be like this

**Kanan!:** Dia, your sister is on the group chat. Please don't forget this.

**Kurosawa Dia** : Ruby also must learn how to defend herself.

**Fallen Angel Yohane** : even if it's through roasting her enemies

**Kurosawa Dia:** I believe that morally humiliating someone is also a form of self-defense.

**Fallen Angel Yohane** : holy shit

**Fallen Angel Yohane:** you've raised your rank on my little demon army tonight

**Kurosawa Dia:** I'll take that as a compliment.

**Kurosawa Dia:** But please stop swearing.

**Fallen Angel Yohane:** k

**Kanan!:** girls i know everyone's having fun but it's almost 4am

**Kanan!:** although we're on vacation, it's not good to pull all-nighters

**You(soro!)** : k mom

**(shiny!) mari:** what if i do it

**(shiny!) mari:** will i be a naughty kid, mommy ;)

**[Kanan! has removed (shiny!) mari from the group.]**

 

**Kanan!:** even i have my limits on how much i can take in

**Kanan!:** good night everyone

**Fallen Angel Yohane:** good thing mari isn't here or we'd have another joke

**takamikan chika:** good night!

**You(soro!)** : tbh chika i thought you were the type to read honoka/reader fanfics

**takamikan chika:** ... i'm not going to confirm or deny that

**takamikan chika:** good thing you know me

**Kurosawa Ruby <3**: I once caught onee-san reading Eli/reader

**Kurosawa Ruby <3**: But she dropped halfway because she felt it was like betraying NozoEli

**You(soro!)** : ok i've had enough µ's fandom shenanigans for tonight

**You(soro!)** : good night

**Sakurauchi Riko:** i also need to recover. good night

**takamikan chika:** i hope your throat is better when you wake up

**Sakurauchi Riko:** me too

**You(soro!)** : what

**takamikan chika:** she has been screaming outside her window for the past two hours

**Kurosawa Ruby <3**: Ok, I'm also going to sleep! See you all tomorrow!

**Fallen Angel Yohane:** it has been "tomorrow" for 4 hours though

**Kurosawa Ruby <3**: please leave me yohane-chan

**takamikan chika:** i think i got it

**takamikan chika:** somehow yohane-chan is more yoshiko-chan online than offline!

**takamikan chika:** she still keeps her fallen angel persona online but later on gets a lot more relaxed!

**takamikan chika:** while in real life she feels pressured to hide behind an “amusing” personality to cope with her social anxiety!

**Sakurauchi Riko:** ... chika please go to sleep

**takamikan chika:** sorry

**takamikan chika:** night

 

_**[20XX/08/14 - 10:14 AM]** _

 

**Kunikida Hanamaru** : Morning everyon!

**Kunikida Hanamaru** : *everyone

**Kunikida Hanamaru** : Did something important happened while I was asleep? You all seem to have talked a lot but I don't know how to go back and read everything...

**Kunikida Hanamaru** : Also why do I have eight messages from Mari-san asking me to beg Kanan-san to 'put her back'?

**Kunikida Hanamaru** : What does that mean?

**Kanan!** : leave her, she's just sleepy

**Kunikida Hanamaru:** I see.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! quick reminder that i love talking about these gay idols and i take requests from time to time! find me at [makikake](http://makikake.tumblr.com) (tumblr) or [wingsaloof](http://twitter.com/wingsaloof) (twitter)!


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